Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize