Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
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She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
being pregnant is like rehab
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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