I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The ass gains better be worth it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
