Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
