Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Naked Twister starts at high noon
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
