So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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