I wish i was in the wii world.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
