This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hippo gnu deer
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
