Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i believe in u and ur pee
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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