FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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