it hurts more in the daytime
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
