3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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