During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
