I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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