Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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