I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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