I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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