Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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