The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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