honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
