Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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