Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
