): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
