I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
