Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
