I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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