mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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