I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
