in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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