I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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