Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
