you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
