oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
