It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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