and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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