I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
