I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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