i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
