Come see our sink grown plant.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
