My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
