Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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