I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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