Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
