please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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