sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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