Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
