Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
