last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
