Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
