May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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