I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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