Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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