You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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