corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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