so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
