Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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