my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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