wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
