she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
