4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
