I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
