Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
