Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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