so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
