I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
