words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
