is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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