And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
